I feel giddy!

I just submitted an essay that I wrote for publication, and I want to do a little dance. I feel like I'm lit up, like I'm on fire, like I've had a few cups of coffee! I've submitted a couple of small pieces before, but nothing that I consider a serious attempt, I suppose. I feel like this piece very well could get published. And I would squeal so loud that the neighbors would wonder if I were dying.

I have multiple people who support my writing endeavors. They stroke my writer's ego and tell me that I am good at what I do. I can't see it. I've always had a hard time seeing it. I struggled with writing compositions in my high school English classes. I got a C in one of my freshman English classes during college, I think. Yet I still write and still think I have at least a little talent at it. I just don't think I'm up to par where I would like to be.

Writing is hard. A lot of it comes very easily to me. At the same time, I expect it to come out perfect the first time. When it doesn't, I have a hard time continuing with what I've been working on. I get fed up and move on to another writing project. Maybe part of my euphoria right now is because I finished something. I really hate having unfinished writing projects lying about, so to speak. It adds to my feelings of inadequacy as a writer.

One is a start. Now maybe I can get to work on some other things and hold on to this euphoric feeling. I think I'd even be okay with a rejection email at this point. It means I'm a "real" writer.