20 posts tagged “life”

I don't really have much to say, but I feel like typing/writing something! I know that once I sit myself in front of a blank page, I find something to say. Or not. It's been a weird week.

I haven't been to sleep before 3 a.m. any night this week. I don't know how I am ever going to get back to my "normal" school schedule come fall.

There is nothing on television. I don't really want to watch TV, but I have nothing better to do.

The cat has been sick since last Friday. He sounds wheezy and wet when he breathes. He's better, presumably. He's not drooling nonstop, at the very least. They sent him home from the vet with steroids and antibiotics, so I guess they're doing their job. I hope he doesn't revert to his drooliness when the medications are gone.

I am bored. I don't want to read, don't want to watch TV, don't want to knit. Don't know what my problem is. Should probably do one of the above, but don't want to. I want to be outside. If I were still living in California, this would be a night I would drive to the beach. Argh.

My cousin moved in with my parents yesterday. She was supposed to on Saturday, but we didn't hear from her and didn't know what was going on. She called yesterday, though, and said she was on her way. She didn't have that much stuff, so she was installed with no problem and her friends headed back home.

We all acted like it was the most normal thing ever. It was no big deal that she'd been evicted and was moving in with my parents. I couldn't wrap my head around it, though. It was the most surreal thing. It felt like this big, life-changing moment and we were standing around chatting as if it were an every day occurrence.

In the end, I decided that it really was the best way to act. It was difficult for her. It was difficult for us. It would have made it worse if we had made a big deal out of it. So, it was best to just act as if it was no big deal. I'm still having trouble with it myself.

My cat has been using my bathtub as a litterbox for a while now. Not that long--maybe a month. I'd rather she goes in the bathtub than on the rug, you know? I have no idea whether it was the difference in litter, the hood on the litterbox we have, or the fact that my brother's crazy cat is seriously territorial with his litterbox. Probably a combination of all of the above. I did get a litterbox and put it in my bathroom when she started doing that in an attempt to get her to go in the litterbox again. No dice. I guess it really was the litter. Prissy cat. Well, I went out earlier this week and got a couple more litterboxes and the usual gravel litter. And lo and behold, she's been using the litterbox again! Thank goodness. We have four litterboxes in the apartment now. It kinda sucks to have to maintain them all, but I would rather do that than have her go in my bathtub again.

We had craziness in my neighborhood last night. A guy shot someone on pretty much the opposite side of town, then led police in a chase to my side of town. He was headed for the mental hospital that's about a block from my apartment. He stayed in his car talking on his phone to the police for three hours and holding a gun to his head. I had to drive the long way 'round to go hang out with a friend of mine. It TOTALLY slipped my mind to pay the rent. Yikes! That's a costly mistake. Thank God that when I went in today, they let it slide because of all the ruckus. Sweet. What a relief--I can't really afford it on my nonexistant freelance writer's salary. I'm considering applying for food stamps, but it would be weird. I'm not in dire straits yet.

On another high note, one of my friends whose opinion I really respect read the piece that I wrote and submitted. She said that she was really interested and kept her interested the whole time. She's more than a little ADD, so that is a HUGE compliment. In my opinion, at least! It's something to keep someone who is easily distracted interested! I would love to share if anyone else wants to read. Maybe I can find another market for it somewhere. It would be a shame for it to go to waste, so to speak.

I did not get the job that I interviewed for last week. I never heard about the second one, so I assume I did not get that one either. My mother knows a teacher at one of the schools where I interviewed. She asked her what went wrong so I could change things in my next interview. The reason? The principal could not get in touch with my California references.

I racked my brains thinking about who I could use as references instead. I thought about getting letters of reference instead. Then, I realized.

They didn't start back to school until this week, and he was calling last week.

I can't catch a break.

I have an interview! An interview for a REAL TEACHING JOB!!! Can you tell that I'm feeling good about this? I can't say that I'm excited because I've had too many interviews at this point where I didn't get the job to feel excited about it. I'm not sure if I even feel optimistic. It just is. It's on Monday at 11:30 a.m. It's one of the next counties over. I'd still have a bit of a commute, but not as much as I currently do. I am also still hoping/expecting a call from the 'ville where my parents live. There is an opening at an elementary school there. They were supposed to interview before Christmas, but rescheduled due to weather and late applications(mine, definitely! Possibly other people, too). 

In the meantime, this job that I have is not bad at all. I've made some mistakes--missing medications for one of the participants in the house where I was working--but I've also had some triumphs--convincing the 23-year-old not to wear a seriously short skirt to a church-sponsored coffee house and discovering that one of the ladies likes knitting. She talks to herself/has hallucinations, and she doesn't talk to herself while she's knitting. I thought I would cry I was so happy to have made her happy. The program director praised me effusively for finding this out and giving her yarn/needles. Cuz I'm awesome. I would really love the chance to revamp their structured day program as well. I'd use all the staff that they have, make sure that everyone has their needs being met, etc. They have people who don't have a background in education doing their program. What are they thinking? I wish I could pitch it so that I could design the programs for all their facilities, not just the one nearby. That's kind of arrogant, isn't it?

And I have to go get ready for work. I plan to post about my achievements from last year and my goals for this year tomorrow!

It's cold here. I started out in the garage at work one night where it was 42 degrees. By the time I got home 30 minutes later, it was only 6 degrees. Brr! I know there are places that are colder, but I've been living in California for 6 years! I haven't felt weather this cold in 6 1/2 years.

So, yesterday my cold water wouldn't work. The hot water was fine, but no cold. Not that I really wanted to use the cold water. I could take my shower no problem. I didn't realize until later on that my toilet wouldn't flush. LOL. Well, I got up this morning and no water at all whatsoever. Not in my bathroom, not in the kitchen, nowhere. I called the offices, and they told us 2 hours ago that we'd have water again in about 30 minutes. Do we have water yet? No, of course not. So I'm going to have to go up to the front offices to take my shower. I'd really prefer not to, but I need to go finish my Christmas shopping. My mom came up yesterday and I got a bunch done, but I still have a few things left. Argh.

Merry Frigging Christmas. Bah Humbug.

So ends my first week of actual work at this job I've taken. Honestly, there's not really enough to do to keep me busy. I don't like that because it makes the day creep by. Hopefully, we'll take people out tonight and it will eat up some of the time. Then again, taking them out could be a bad experience...

I'm feeling tired. I'm also feeling more than a little sad because of the quality of care for people who have any kind of disability. People who are overqualified end up moving on to other jobs. So, what's left? People who are there to get a paycheck and don't really care about the people. I shadowed people for the first 3 days of this week. I have to say that my training was not very good on that front. It's horrible! And it makes me guilty for wanting to jump ship as soon as I possibly can.

There's a job opening where my parents live. I'm hoping to score that job, but I'm definitely not feeling very optimistic. I haven't had much luck so far. I've begun wondering if the fact that I don't have a Master's Degree has anything to do with it. I've been not qualified for two positions because I don't have a Master's degree. The longer it takes to find a job as a teacher, the more discouraged I'm going to end up. It really sucks.

Anyway. Have to go do other stuff so that I don't keep thinking about how much I want the job that I am trained for, the job that I am good at. It's cold in the apartment, so I'm going to go snuggle back up under the covers and read! Sounds like a good alternative to stressing about a job that I don't even have an interview for. Yet.

I woke up earlyish for me. Might have had something to do with the fact that my dad started laundry at 7 a.m.! I sleep in the room right next to the pipes, and it was loud. Might have also had something to do with the fact that I had mucho sleep the night before.

So, I'm sitting in a chair in the corner poking around on my laptop. For a moment, I felt like I was home for Christmas and that I was going to have to go back to California eventually. It was weird. I haven't felt at all like I should be going back to CA in the entire time that I've been back. This is home, this is comfortable, is right.

I don't deny that I miss my friends. I had a dream the other night that everyone I used to work with was mad at me. Those are never nice dreams. They make me feel like they're true.

I thought I would miss all the places that I used to eat out more than I have. I'm glad that memory fades. It sucks to crave food that you really can't have.

OK, have to get moving so I can get to the post office before it closes at noon!

how much I truly enjoy teaching.

I had my first sub job today.  It was night and day from the elementary where I taught in Los Angeles.  There were only 17 students in the class, as opposed to the 34 cap for 5th grades in LAUSD.  They knew about history!!  There was an actual PE teacher to teach them and I didn't have to do it!!!  They didn't complain about doing work or ask why they had to learn it!!!  They didn't talk the entire time I was talking!!!  They (mostly) did their work without me having to ride them all the time!!!  They worked INDEPENDENTLY!!!  That was a real trip.  It was so much different.  I even emailed one of my teacher friends in LA to tell her about it.  She said that it was like the Twilight Zone.  I totally agree.

But it really made me realize how much I love teaching.  I didn't think I missed it.  I love sleeping in.  I enjoy having time to do whatever I want.  I miss the sounds, the spending time with the students, the challenge of finding a way to get it across in a different way so that everyone understands.  I miss interacting with other teachers, the lunch room chats.  I miss the copy machines and the work room conversations while you're waiting for the copy machines. 

I really need a job!

I love kids, don't get me wrong.  But they take sooo much energy!  I babysat for my friend who has a 1-year-old today.  It wasn't really that hard.  Change a few diapers, feed her, make sure that she doesn't put things into her mouth that she's not supposed to.  I am seriously wiped out.  I actually think that it's more because I didn't get enough sleep last night than because I was babysitting.  I need to get up and get moving at a reasonable time tomorrow, so I'm trying to stay up until a decent bedtime.  You know, 9 or 10. 

On another note, I finally signed up for the sub phone system in my county.  I've been getting calls off and on since I did.  I was even offered a job for tomorrow.  No surprise--the majority of teacher absences are on Mondays and Fridays.  I've got too many errands to run and I'm having lunch with a friend tomorrow.  I also want to leave town in time so that I miss the Friday traffic.  I'll sub next week.  And I should know about this job I interviewed for tomorrow.

I found out that no Ky. pharmacy will refill my prescription because it's over a year old.  Grrr!  It seems like a day-long pursuit to find a free/low-cost clinic just to get a silly prescription refilled.  I'm glad that I have a lot of my migraine prescription!  I have a feeling they would want to do a lot of tests first.  Of course, it would be really nice if I could just get a stinkin' job with health insurance!!!

My brother made breakfast for his fiancee this morning.  Sweet of him, but blech.  I don't particularly want to hear about him being sweet and romantic.  At least he still is sometimes after they've been together for 4 years!  I'm just not feeling the romance these days.  And very content that way, thank you very much!