3 posts tagged “sleep”

I don't really have much to say, but I feel like typing/writing something! I know that once I sit myself in front of a blank page, I find something to say. Or not. It's been a weird week.

I haven't been to sleep before 3 a.m. any night this week. I don't know how I am ever going to get back to my "normal" school schedule come fall.

There is nothing on television. I don't really want to watch TV, but I have nothing better to do.

The cat has been sick since last Friday. He sounds wheezy and wet when he breathes. He's better, presumably. He's not drooling nonstop, at the very least. They sent him home from the vet with steroids and antibiotics, so I guess they're doing their job. I hope he doesn't revert to his drooliness when the medications are gone.

I am bored. I don't want to read, don't want to watch TV, don't want to knit. Don't know what my problem is. Should probably do one of the above, but don't want to. I want to be outside. If I were still living in California, this would be a night I would drive to the beach. Argh.

I've been having a hard time sleeping lately.  I'm sure it has some to do with the fact that I'm unemployed and pretty bored.  My social life is looking up a little.  I'm reconnecting with people and getting more involved in the church that I've been attending.  I'll have to post another entry about the whole church thing, honestly.  There's a lot of stuff I have to think about where this church is concerned.

After taking about 40 minutes to fall asleep, I woke up this morning around 4:50.  I went to the bathroom, but then I couldn't go back to sleep.  I had a headache, and my mind was working on overdrive.  I was thinking about my uncle a little, and that made me sad.  I cracked open one of the huge stack of books by my bed(the library made me put some of my books back last time I went because I have the max amount of books checked out--35!!) and read for a couple of hours before I was ready to go back to sleep. 

Then, I woke up after having a nightmare about my former best friend's grandmother dying.  All my grandparents passed by the time I was 11 or 12, so her grandmother was my grandmother, too.  She is the sweetest lady I've ever known.  I haven't seen her in at least 8 years because my best friend and I "broke up" after I graduated from college.  She turned 91 this month.  I am in contact with people who would most likely let me know if she did happen to die, but I woke up more than slightly paranoid.  I had to go to the local newspaper website and look through the obituaries this morning just to make sure.  I'll be really upset when it happens, too. 

Who was that guy who slept for years and year?  I can't remember his name right now, but I feel like him.  I get home and I'm tired.  I went to bed at 7:30 last night.  I didn't go to sleep until 9:30 or 10, but I was in bed the whole time.  Reading.  Seems like that's the only way I can maintain my sanity.  I lose myself in books.  It keeps me from thinking too much about my own life.  Keeps me from thinking about how while my body is here in California, my heart, mind, and soul are in Kentucky. 

Yesterday felt like the next several weeks would go by quickly.  Today, not so much.  Hopefully I have more quick days than not. 

I'm uninterested in the people here, the things to do here.  I don't want to get to know anyone new.  I don't want to get any more attached to anyone here than I already am.  I'm uninterested in watching TV any more.  It doesn't occupy enough of my brain to keep me from letting logical thought from slipping away.  I know that the things I'm thinking about aren't logical.  But unless I keep my mind occupied with other things, I have no control over those illogical thought patterns. 

 So, I sleep.